Seth Meyers on Trump: ‘Wandering sleepily about bitter grievances in half-empty arenas’

The late-night hosts talked about Kamala Harris’ closing speech, Donald Trump’s extensive interview with Joe Rogan and Elon Musk donating his sperm.

Seth Meijers

As the election nears its end, Donald Trump should make his case to voters. Instead, as Seth Meyers noted on Wednesday’s Late Night, he talks trash on podcasts.

“Even Joe Rogan, who gave Trump a chance to make his case, seemed skeptical,” said Meyers of the podcast host, who allowed Trump to continue to disavow the results of the 2020 election.

But even Rogan lost patience with Trump’s lack of evidence. “Are you ever going to present this?” he finally asked.

“I love how Rogan starts, ‘I’m not going to interrupt you.’ And after ten seconds he says, ‘I have to cut this motherfucker off,’” Meyers laughed.

“’Are you ever going to present this?’ is a great question, especially after Trump lost about 60 lawsuits challenging the legitimacy of the election,” Meyers added. “No one who has evidence to support their case chooses not to present it. There’s no legal strategy called ‘rope-a-dope’ where you lose the first sixty and then as soon as they relax, pow!’

But Meyer’s favorite part of the interview was when Trump told Rogan, “What I’d rather do is – we’ll do it some other time, and I’d bring in papers that you wouldn’t believe. So many different papers.”

“Sixty cases and you never got the papers?!” Meyers opined.

Later in the monologue, Meyers tried to allay the viewer’s pessimism about the election: “I have no idea what’s going to happen next week,” he said. “The polls are a matter of throwing money around, but I do know one thing: Trump is not inevitable. Don’t let yourself feel that way.

“He once fell completely backwards into the presidency despite losing the popular vote by 3 million people, and since then he and his Maga henchmen have been on the run in election after election,” he continued. ‘He is not an unstoppable juggernaut. He wanders sleepily about bitter grievances into half-empty arenas, while Kamala Harris assembles record crowds to lay out her policy agenda.”

Meyers then played clips from Trump’s rally at Madison Square Garden with speakers celebrating the mass deportations of undocumented immigrants and labeling Harris “the devil.”

Trump didn’t disavow any of these things, Meyers said, because “those weren’t jokes.” They were beliefs, and Donald Trump hasn’t said a word about them because that’s what he believes, and it’s deeply despicable.”

Jimmy Kimmel

On Election Day, “you gotta vote,” said Jimmy Kimmel. “If you can vote early, vote early. If you can’t vote early, vote early. If you want to vote for Trump, vote late. Vote very late, so you vote on Thursday or maybe Friday.”

Kimmel cited a poll that only 30% of American voters think Trump will concede if he loses the election. “What would give them that idea? Of course, Trump will not concede if he loses this election,” Kimmel said. “He still hasn’t conceded in the last election. And he’s already claiming that Pennsylvania is cheating.”

Trump made the baseless claim on Truth Social and called on law enforcement to “act now.”

“This is obviously not true,” Kimmel reminded. “It’s another lie, and there will be more in the coming days.”

Harris, meanwhile, delivered her closing argument in a speech that drew 20,000 more people than Trump at the same venue on January 6. “And the craziest thing is, when she finished speaking, they all went home,” Kimmel said.

Stephen Colbert

And on the Late Show, Stephen Colbert repeated Kamala Harris’ closing speech, which was “specifically designed to purple Trump’s core.”

Harris spoke at the same place where Trump held his infamous Jan. 6 rally, before a crowd of 75,000 people, compared to the 53,000 who attended Trump’s “Save America” rally.

Harris said Trump “spent a decade trying to keep the American people divided and afraid of each other. That’s who he is, but America, I’m here tonight to say that’s not who we are.

“That’s right! We are unifiers!” Colbert exclaimed. “We are the nation that brought together chicken and waffles, Mike and Ike, Baja and Blast – all coming together to form one truly terrible airport meal.”

In other news, Trump’s ‘private pet billionaire’ Elon Musk is reportedly offering people his sperm amid concerns about falling birth rates. “I can’t stress this enough: Don’t trick or treat at Elon’s house,” Colbert joked. “Elon, I’m not sure women agree that the reason for declining birth rates is because there just aren’t enough sperm!”

Musk is said to be so concerned about it that he has offered his sperm to friends and acquaintances. “So a warning to Elon’s friends and acquaintances: that’s not a sourdough starter,” Colbert joked.